Who am I? I have wrestled with that for a while. Is my major what it is supposed to be? Is my dream job really like me? What defines me: an anxious person, a godly person, a smart person… like who am I? Then, one day, at Bible study, I wrote this down in answer to that question.
loved deeply and sought after by the God who never gave up on me
That’s me. That’s who I am. That day, I started crying and cried for a while. I was like, Um ok, so I’m worth it. But why. Why. Why am I worth it. Like I feel like trash. But He still be seeking after me. That’s cool. Like that’s really cool. Ok. Cool. Thanks God.
God takes us where we are and gives us the strength to be who He intended us to be, so any other labels we have been given… they don’t matter. They really don’t. God loves us. God’s love defines us. Because God loves us, because He created us, because He died for us, … we are worth it. Our lives are worth living because of God. And I’m struggling with this. It’s hard sometimes. Sometimes I wonder why I’m alive or if I should’ve just not been born in the first place, but I was. And because I was given life, I will continue to live. I will continue to live because Jesus loves me. And if the Creator of the universe loves me, it shouldn’t really matter who doesn’t.
That day, I realized something else too. My identity is that I’m loved by God. And that means nothing else really matters so much: not my major, my future career, anything else. The fact that I believe that Jesus died on the cross to forgive my sins and that I love Him and He loves me… that’s the most important thing guys. So if you ever have to choose between studying for an hour when you’ve been studying hard all day and spending needed time with God… spend time with God. It’ll always be worth it in the end. Because what matters most is who you are in God. (This isn’t a free pass to fail out of college. It just means that we have to work hard to make time to spend with God, even if that means getting a slightly lower grade because we lost an hour of precious study time.)
Just remember this – God doesn’t make mistakes. If you have trusted in Him as Savior, you are His child and sealed by the Holy Spirit. He will never abandon His child. Whatever people do or say or make you feel like, don’t let it get to you. God loves you.